I have been wanting to make a list of these things for some time now, so without further ado I will begin to list them right here and update them as I can think of them.
***I’ve flipped the ahhhh chronological, I guess, order of my posts, so the newest is first. ‘Coz if there’s one thing that grinds my gears, it’s when I have to get that scroll wheel working…!***
17. Ultra Courteous Drivers
Yah huh. It’s another driving one! Well, courtesy on the road is paramount, ill be the first to say. However, you get these people who think they’re doing you a favour but are going completely against the flow of traffic.
Let’s say you’re at a T junction, where you can either turn left or right.
You want to turn right and there is someone wanting to turn right also to then be on the same road as you, but going the other way.
So this car is in front of you at the moment and has right of way. But they sit there. They wave you through. Wh-why? Why are they doing this? It’s been ingrained since you got your license about who has right of way and now this clown is disrupting the flow!
So rather than follow the rules, their courtesy has cost you precious seconds. Precious precious seconds.
16. Milk cartons
“Open Other Side”.. ‘Nuff said! It’s REALLY uncanny how often you shake your little milk carton like a good boy, then go to open it only to have the bastard thing tell you you’re trying to open the wrong side.
Never in the history of man have 50/50’s had so many misses.
15. Another traffic thing
It sort of almost kinda scares me when I’m about to drive past someone on the freeway and they decide to think about changing lanes. But they indicate before I’ve passed them so I think they’re JUST about to change lanes! So theres me, being aware of my surroundings, I back off thinking ‘what the fuck are you doing!?’
The other driver probably thinks he is doing the right thing in letting following drivers know what’s going on in his head, but think please, about the poor guy who thinks you’re about to run him off the road… =)
14. ‘E’ News
‘E’ stands for entertainment. Could’ve fooled me! The shows will be shows and I can’t help that, nor can I help what I’m about to whinge about but dammit I’m gonna whinge!
It’s really the people that host these shows that get to me. How can they possibly be so energetic? It’s their job and all but my lord they pack it on. Or perhaps it’s to give people like myself a pick up? Should I be smiling because they’re so happy?! Have I got them all wrong?
You know what, it’s also how they’re so amazed at “aaand we catch Beyonce walkin’ out of a supermarket in knee high boots, with a BlackBerry in hand?! Could she be tweeting to her followers hints about that baaaaby bump??!” It’s that kind of speculation that they just rip out of their asses that really drills me down. There’s no such thing as reporting the news any more. There’s no such thing as reporting any more I guess. It’s just shit talk.
13. People whinging about product size reduction
Think about it, wouldn’t you be more upset if the price of your favourite whatever went up? So it’s really quite simple what these ‘big bad’ companies are doing, preventing a price rise by using a product size reduction! It’s NOT a sneaky secret! It’s not like they’re hiding the size on the packet is it?
This is all over the news at the.. sorry, current affairs, all over the current affairs at the moment (big difference). In response to this story one old lady claims “She doesn’t have time to look at the size gram by gram of every product”…
Really? You honestly don’t have time to look at the size? Wow, you must be busy. Bet you look at the price of every product though don’t you? Bet you punch the price of every product into your oversize calculator though don’t you?
Not sure if I have an emotional response to this because of my supermarket experience, but hey, it made it on the list.
12. The CitiBank ad guy
So what they’re spruiking is the good old ‘balance transfer, cheap rate, 6 months’ thing. It’s probably just the law of frequency happening here, seeing this guy every other day that’s doing it for me.
But the real kicker is how they get this guy to act all disgusted when he asks you what sort of interest rate you may currently be paying. 20 per cent? 21 per cent?! How does 1.9% per annum sound?
aha are they serious? On the next screen the reeeeally fine print it says current annual interest rate is 21.74%
11. Filter lanes
It’s not so much the lanes themselves that annoy me, in fact I think they’re brilliant! It’s people who treat them as somewhere to casually coast into the intersection/driveway the lane is servicing. It causes a bit of a build up behind this idiot because you can’t go around them. The whole point of a filter lane is to filter the people who want to turn, out of the free stream traffic.
You’ve probably never noticed, bet you will now =D
Whats a filter lane? The bit with the right arrows, forgive me for putting a bit too much energy into the top half of the drawing =(
10. Car “accidents”
Wahoo double digits! Knew it wouldn’t take long =) OK, I don’t believe in accidents. At somewhere along the chain, a weak link snapped, ie. Someone fucked up.
I was on the freeway today for about 40 minutes when it should have been 12-15 tops because some idiot didn’t adjust to the road conditions or wasn’t paying attention and went up another punters arse. If EVERYone was doing what they should’ve been doing behind the wheel, there would be no car “accidents” and no delays on the freeway. Thank you.
Pure filth and lying scum of the earth that don’t EARN the kings ransom they’re paid. Say one thing, do another. Make promises, break promises. To think they get a healthy pension when they leave office too! Wowzers!
8. People who speak foreign words with the accent while speaking in their native tongue.
The woman on Foxtel, speaks English..American English anyway, but has some Italian in her, so she’s speaking normally but every now and then will throw in an Italian word and says it like an italian would. It’s crazy!
Words like prosciutto, parmesan, oregano spring to mind. Theres more. Lots more.
7. People who park in 2 spots so their car doesn’t get damaged.
You do realize that by doing this actually makes your car MORE susceptible to damage, because people like me want to teach you a lesson. Park at the end of the car park where no cars are, dickhead.
6. Two And A Half Men
This show is utter crap. If you watch this because you think it’s a cleverly written funny show, maybe you should broaden your sitcom horizons. Try Arrested Development.
5. Empty power points switched on.
How hard is it to switch off a power point that has nothing plugged into it? Didn’t think so.
4. People that don’t close their mouth when they eat.
– They sound like sloppy walruses.. Walrusi? Didn’t your parents ever teach you table manners? Are they still not teaching you them?
– I don’t like how they crunch and people eating them don’t try dull it down at all. I find it just a bit rude I’m afraid.
..which leads me on to;
2. Upside down/back to front numbers on petrol station price boards.
– You can just tell when a 3 or an 8 is upside down.. Come to think of it I haven’t seen a back to front number.. But if I did I reckon it would look ridiculous.
1. Incorrect spelling.
– I will do my best to not piss myself off while I write this blog, but most of it will be written on an iPhone so I make no guarantees. You understand right?
This link summarises PERFECTLY, what I mean and I encourage you to click it. Here.